i cant shake the feeling that i am pacing up and down in an abandoned laboratory someplace very far away

i decided that valentines day was a good day to tell complete strangers that they have been tremendously important to me in dealing with brain problems issues just by existing. it went better than expected now i almost want to do the same with like jd

#suicide

sometimes roses are pink and sometimes theyre red

when i talk to you i almost never wish i was dead

:^)

#suicide

the enemy of my enemy is still likely to celebrate my death at my own hands

#suicide

one of my favorite things about myself physically is my wrists

my wrists are lovely

but god do they ever need a couple of big red lines down the center

i cant remember the last time ive looked at my wrists or anyone elses wrists without thinking about killing myself

its not a trigger because its so goddamn normal

ha! ha! why am i alive

cool when your only points of certainty about yourself are actually symptoms of yr brain problems

#suicide

but im sorry if u dont see something inherently profoundly funny about the fact that i seriously considered killing myself because there were a run in my favorite tights today we just have very different senses of humor. i was literally a danger to myself over hosiery. how is that not funny

like do you remember when john darnielle made those tweets about having 2 be careful not to make suicide jokes around his baby ITS LIKE THAT ONLY WITH LITERALLY EVERYONE except sophie she thinks theyre funny

#suicide

it is kind of hilariously tragic how vigilantly i have to monitor myself because such a huge chunk of my idea of a Sense of Humor involves jokes about killing myself and melodramatic declarations that i am going to kill myself and wishing i was dead and generally speaking other people dont find suicide jokes as hilarious as me